Archive for the 'NLP' Category
Reading this week, Andre Comte Sponville philosophical works in relation to Time, reminded me of the NLP Time orientation. Our spatial representation of Past - Present- Future is linked to the vision and out look of our being. A change in the representation will certainly change our outlook thus operate a corresponding change in our behavior. Do you want to be a more future oriented person? Do you want to have a better Time Management? Read below an extract of the book: Change your mind and keep the change, by Connirae and Steve Andreas, my NLP tutors. It is one of the NLP books which I cherish.
Time Orientation
Let’s talk a little bit more about past-, present-, and future-oriented people, and how their orientations relate to their time sorts. For example, one person that I worked with had the past right behind her, the present directly in front of her, and the future going out ahead. Now, what kind of person was she with respect to time? If you try on that timeline, what will your orientation be?
Al: I’m not sure. It’s confusing.
Well, can you see the future?
Al: No, not really.
Not unless your pictures are transparent, and hers weren’t! If the present is right in front of you and the immediate future is behind that, so you can’t see it, what is your time orientation?
Sally: Present.
Right, and for her it was the immediate present. When she said “right now,” she really meant right now–this split second! Five minutes from now would be in the future for her. She had a very narrow sense of the present.
Now try this out. What if your future goes off to your right at an angle, so you can see most of what’s in each picture, and it gets bigger and brighter as it goes forward in time? The far future will be more important for you. You would tend to live for the far future, and respond less to the present and past.
If the near future or the present were bigger and brighter than the far future, you might experience difficulty with long-range planning or thinking about the consequences of your behavior, but be very good at planning immediate future events. Investigating your timeline can often give you some clues about how to change it in a useful way.
Carol: I started out being very present-oriented. My present was big, bright, and close, and both future and past were small and dim. We changed it so that I could keep all that wonderfulness of the present, but move some of that brightness into the next several weeks also, so that I’d respond more to the immediate future and get more done.
That sounds like a useful change. Here’s another timeline you can all try out. One man had his past on a line straight in front of him. His future went way off to the right. You know the phrase, “My past flashed in front of my eyes?” This man lived that way all the time. What does that do to your experience? It certainly focuses your attention on the past. Depending upon whether your past was wonderful or horrible, you might like it or not, but you wouldn’t pay much attention to the present or future. This is the kind of person for whom using the Change Personal History pattern will be very impactful, because he responds so strongly to representations of the past.
Carl: I’ve noticed that in certain circumstances I can focus a lot on the past. My past was right up here in front of me. So I just moved it over there to my left, and went, “Beep. Bang!” and slammed the door.
And how does that work for you?
Carl: Well, I don’t know yet.
If you now take this new timeline into future situations, you can get a good idea of how it will work, and if any adjustments need to be made. The ideal is to have some flexibility with your timeline–to be able to move the past where you can see it when that’s useful, and move it out of the way when you want to be more present- or future-oriented.
I think you are all getting the idea that in general, whatever is right in front of you and noticeable–big and bright, colorful, etc.–will be most compelling and you will pay most attention to it.
Fred: I’m interested in hearing about some useful timelines.
Well, the question is always “Useful for what purpose?” or “Useful for whom?” You’re getting a sense of what the possibilities are. Let me tell you some fairly standard ones. Most people have some kind of gentle, open curve, the way Linda has. The past is usually a line off to the left, the present right in front of you, and the future in a line to the right. Images may be stacked behind one another, but they’re usually offset or arranged at an angle, so that part of each successive picture is visible.
Deciding whether a timeline is useful or not depends on what your personal outcomes are, and what’s ecological for you. Saying “this is the right timeline” is like saying “this is the right way to be, and there are no other useful ways to live in the world.” A person’s timeline can make him unique. But if it gets him into trouble in certain situations, or if a different timeline would allow him to do things that he can’t now do with his own, then it might be appropriate to explore alternatives, at least for specific contexts.
Timeline Spacing
It’s often useful to find someone you think is very capable and skilled, investigate how she sorts time, and try it out. For example, people who are good long-range planners tend to have the future close in front of them rather than off to the side. We know a man who teaches business people long-range planning, and he’s very good at it. He has both his five-year and his ten-year plans right there in front of him, very detailed, and quite close. Ten years is only about two feet away. That works fine for him, and he really likes it, but when I try it, the future seems to press in on me too much. I want the future a little bit farther away and less detailed, so that I have more room to move in the present.
What difference might it make in a person’s life if his future timeline is really e-x-p-a-n-d-e-d instead of compressed, like that of the long-range planner I just mentioned? Try putting tomorrow halfway across the room, next week down the hall, and next month so far away on the horizon that it’s barely visible. What might be the behavioral consequences of having such an “expanded” timeline?
Anne: I wouldn’t be very motivated to do something that was way out there someplace! I’d feel as if I had a lot of time to kill before getting around to it.
Mike: How true! When I was writing my dissertation, finishing it was quite a way off in the future. There was lots of room to add other projects between the present and the completion date of my dissertation, so I kept taking on new jobs and putting off the dissertation. When I finally realized what was happening, I “reeled in” the deadline until it was so close to the present that there wasn’t enough room to add anything in between. Any new projects had to get added on after the dissertation was done.
Nice! That’s a good illustration of how compressing a timeline can help someone meet deadlines.
Lars: I think I need to do the opposite. My future is all bunched up close, and I always feel like the future is pressing in on me. When I spread it out a little more, I feel much more relaxed.
You look as if that might lower your blood pressure 30 points. Let’s check carefully for ecology, though. Imagine taking this new spread-out timeline with you through the next day . . . and the next week . . . Can you still get the things done you want to get done? Or are you too “laid back”?
Lars: No, not at all. In fact I think I can plan and schedule better. Before, my future was so bunched up that I couldn’t really see it to plan very well.
That sounds good. We’ve also noticed that for some people, having a long-range future that is filled with big bright goals literally gives them “something to live for” and they’re more apt to stay alive! One study on cancer patients found that survivors are apt to be future-oriented, whereas non-survivors are past-oriented.
Bob: I used to be much more future-oriented than I am now. In the past couple of years I’ve slowed down, and my future seems to be less clear than the way it was before. There are obviously advantages and disadvantages.
Absolutely. If you are too fixated on the future, you may not be taking care of things in the present. You may not notice that you’re having a lousy time now, and that your family’s having a lousy time, too. On the other hand, if all your attention is on having fun in the present, you won’t notice the future consequences, and your future won’t be as enjoyable as it could be. Depending on the consequences you ignore, it could be a lot shorter, too!
I took a lesson last night at the Annual General Meeting (AGM) of Regency Square Syndic meeting. Perhaps, it was a well learned lesson in humility and a trim to my overlarge ego. It took me some time to get to sleep after I climbed on my bed, my mind kept running like an engine. I could not stop myself from reflecting on the 3hours and a half session with my fellow co- owners. I was drained and felt non resourceful after attending to two of the co-owners. I really had to make a very special effort to contain myself from busting my temper. I applied my turbo brakes. My self- esteem dropped. My feelings were hurt. I sensed the reptilian portion of my brain flashing lights to start off. How is it possible that I have landed so low? I had two cases to deal with.
CASE 1
To be accused of incompetence, I readily accept, as nobody is perfect. But to accuse the Conseil Syndical under my chairmanship of cooking the books with the Syndic in public, ( which of course is false and unfounded)and taking us to task on a transparency issue, just because he was refused the right to take a copy of the accounts was really too much. Especially after the steps taken last year to change the bye- laws to give the Conseil Syndical additional powers to control closely the Syndic, we felt that our good faith was targeted. This was beyond my understanding! I could not read the motivation that drove such actions, in spite of all the supposedly knowledge & competencies (NLP) I have acquired in human behavior. The night through, in my mind, I scanned back to the past scene many times to identify signs and markers that I could possibly attribute to this unexplained behavior. I could not find a sensible answer. What has made this grieved soul so sour to accuse us? Is it possible that we inadvertedly caused him some pain? What has triggered such a foray to my integrity as well as that of the Conseil members? From my previous dealings with this fellow owner, I could only term him as eccentric and full of ego. I had the intuition that the AGM would be a tough one. (Refer to my previous blog on co-propriete).Luckily, I took the precaution not to chair the AGM and to avail of the possibility of nominating a meeting chairman. In the end, the incomprehensive behavior got the other owners to rally against him to bully him: I felt sorry for him.Why would somebody otherwise so intelligent get himself in such a predicament?
CASE 2
The second ache was caused by another co-owner who, according to me, was easy to deal with. From my past interactions with him, I had read his recurrent motives and have remedies for his unwanted behaviors. He only needs to be in the limelight and for this; he would take the floor on any subjects. Any experienced chairperson knows how to deal with over bloated characters with a voracious need for recognition and how to give them a rope to hang themselves. In addition,my impatience grew to break point level last night because the appointed chairman did not act fast enough to contain him.He souped up the precious time of all and got every body bored with his trivia. In hindsight, I have to admit that I should have briefed the acting chairperson beforehand.
Writing this blog now and sharing my heart, I feel, is my therapy for soothing the sour taste of last night.
- What do I want?
Ask this question about the context you are considering. State what you want in positive terms, ie what do you want, and what do you want it to do? Where do you want it? When do you want it? Eg ‘I want to be, do or have X’. If the answer forms as ‘I do not want…’ then ask, ‘What do I want instead of …’.
- Is it achievable?
Is it possible for a human being to achieve the outcome? If it has been done by someone, then in theory it can be done by you, too. If you are the first, find out if it is possible.
- What will I accept as evidence that I have achieved my outcome?
What evidence will you accept that lets you know when you have the outcome? Ensure that your evidence criteria are described in sensory based terms ie: That which you can see, hear and/or touch that proves to you and/or third parties that you have done what you set out to do.
- Is achieving this outcome within my control?
Is it under your control, ie can you, personally do, authorise or arrange it? Anything outside your control is not ‘well formed’. Instructing your broker is within your control. So is buying in expertise. Asking your employer for time off is not. The time off will only become well formed if it is granted.
- Are the costs and consequences of obtaining this outcome acceptable?
Ensure that the outcome is worth the time, outlay and effort involved in achieving it, and that impact on third parties or the environment is accounted for.
- Do I have all the resources I need to achieve my outcome?
Do you have or can you obtain all the resources, both tangible and intangible that you need to achieve your outcome? Resources include knowledge, beliefs, objects, premises, people, money, time.
- If I could have it now, would I take it?
Are all costs and consequences of achieving your outcome, including the time involved, acceptable to you and anyone else affected by it? This is known as ecology. Consider the costs, consequences, environmental and third party impact of having the outcome.
This is an NLP version of SMART goals.You will recall on my earlier blog Practice Practice Practice where I write on goal setting.
Most entrepreneurs and more importantly marketers are in the business of influencing consumers to buy and consume their product or services. The basics principles of Attention, Retention, Motivation and Action have been the subject of deep study and publishing by Albert Bandura under his Social Learning Theory. I came to know the works of Bandura because of my reading on human behavior in respect of Modeling behavior and Learning in the business world.
Of particular interest to me today is Albert Bandura’s comments on the effect of Television in the mounting violence and aggressiveness of the society. Are we experiencing now greater violence than a few decades ago? Are we subjected to more sexual aggression? The story of Tyler Richie as accounted by the author is very telling. More so; Albert Bandura supported his theory with experiments and serious studies. I recommend you to read chapter 31 and to promote the reading his theory to our journalists and media.
Drugs addictions, violence in all its forms, pornography suggestive or otherwise are all gaining grounds in our society. Most of us, would not want to see the progress of these modern nuisances. We may well be encouraging and helping to the decay of our future society through sheer ignorance, by accepting that these negative values seep in. What do we hear on the radio and see on our TV everyday? Nothing wrong in openly talking or discussing these “news” items described in exciting formats it would appear? Would we be insidiously introducing counter moral values and unconsciously accepting them or seen to be accepting them?
“Bandura says that people learn from vicarious observation”.
“But arousal researchers note that people also get excited watching suspense, comedy, or sexy bedroom scenes.
In the morning news paper a fortnight or so earlier, the detailed description of the physical and sexual abuses that underwent a victim in the report of a legal court case was shocking to me. The news item was sheer voyeurism or sensationalism. Sometimes I wonder whether the motive of the press is for economic gain above all other considerations.
You will be glad to know that Social Learning theory is very much used in criminology.
Based on this theory,may be, we should support the campaign waged by Veronique Leclezio to ban all publicity on tobacco. Likewise, a total blackout on all advertising media should apply on Alcohol as well!
In 1998, I had decided to finish my NLP certifications and took the “NLP train the trainer” course with NLP Comprehensive in Colorado USA. Whilst, I was undergoing the training with Lara Ewing, Gerry Smith,Jo Salas and other tutors, I linked up friendship with Jenny Edwards who was one of the numerous assistants of the program. Jenny shared with me her path career and told me that I should meet up with Fr. Gonzalez who would be visiting Madagascar soon after our meeting.
On my return home, I immediately contacted Fr. Gonzalez, who was professor of the Urbaniana University in Vatican City, to set up an appointment with him during his visit that year in Antananarivo. He very readily accepted to register me in a 4 day retreat that he was giving to the priests and religious persons on spiritually and NLP.
There, a few months after, I landed at Itochoa, in a Carmelite convent in company of religious participants. A very funny anecdote happened to me. On the first day of the retreat or seminar, as it is customary, the participants were asked to present themselves. In turn, we heard: “Brother so and so, been in the Carmelite congregation since X year. I am presently in Y village, responsible for the orphanage.” “Father so and so, of X Company, chaplain of Y church covering the territory of Z district.” It went on the same format for a number of times from each participant. When my turn came I said: « Père de la famille YIPTONG depuis une vingtaine année, ayant pour responsabilite la gestion et le progres de la Famille composee de Madame YIPTONG et d une fille et un garcon » The whole assembly got out of the serious atmosphere in bursts of laughter !
Fr. Luis Gonzalez shared plenty of his experiences with us and the most I retained was the use of NLP principles to bring change in our life. He must have written some 60 books, mostly published in Spanish his mother tongue. Some of them have been translated in English. Later, he told me that he visited Mauritius some years before and had run seminars for the Mauritian clergy.
As most great man, he was very kind and simple in his approach and very soft spoken. Talking to him, I could feel goodness, passion and love being radiated from him to reach my being. Thanks to Jenny Edwards for the introduction and Glory to God for the meeting with Fr. Luis. I have a collection of the English editions of Fr. Luis Gonzalez books which I read and reread all so often? The one on my bed side table now is NLP Success and personal Excellence.
In my last blog, I mentioned perceptual positioning and linked the words to the NLP University site.
A reader wrote back to me, to tell me that the term and the link is fine for guys who have the time to study the subject. Today, many of us are time scarce zappers he said. Give us the stuff in simple form!
For the benefits of those readers who are of the same opinion, I shall attempt to explain briefly the Perceptual Positions (PP). Mind you in a practictioner NLP course, the subject is taught for a minimum of 3 days. Luckily the concept is simple but to build up the unconscious competence in PP takes time.
These positions refer to the perspective you adopt, at some moment, to perceive your world, other people or your problems. NLP, “the science of alternatives”, shows you that when facing life and its difficulties you rely on different options to choose the perspective that suits you best.
You may choose, from among at least 4 different positions:
- Actor
You let the world in through your 5 senses
- Partner
You virtually enter into another person’s skin to feel through his senses.
- Observer
You transcend the 1st and 2nd position to observe another person and yourself from outside.
- Meta Observer or Creator(God)
If you are a believer, through faith you move into God’s heart to see the world and men with God’s eyes.
Surely, you can imagine how great men in history are able to choose from among these positions and make use of them according to circumstances.
If you want to be successful in the art of living, i.e. to keep life healthy and happy, you too need to use these different positions. For instance if somebody is aggressively abusing you and you are in 1st position, you’ll become his puppet. You’ll no longer be a person in his eyes. He’ll make you feel either very angry or very discouraged, as if he held the strings of your heart in his hands.
When dealing with a destructive person, a negative situation or a difficult problem, you should avoid taking the 1st position at all costs. Use the other positions.
On the other hand, before a beautiful landscape, a person, a constructive issue, you should open up all your senses. Take the 1st Position and cherish the moment, the here & now.
To enhance the understanding of your counterpart, don’t you often 2nd position the person? You need to get into his shoes to understand his perspective, his experience, his way of thinking.
The 3rd position also called the observer position, allows you to see things coolly and more objectively. It allows you to observe the interaction you might have with a counterpart and comment in your own mind the interaction. From this perspective, it will be easier for you to suggest ideas and actions to yourself that may lead to success. The 3rd position places you in a creative perspective.
The 4th position, the metaobserver or transcendental one, you can see the whole situation from a much wider point of view. Imagine being assisted by omniscience, omnipotent angel.
In a nut shell:The idea is to build in the Perceptual Positioning skills in your operating mode all the time. This will allow you in any interaction, to have perspectives: which allow you to feel your senses instantly (1st), understand your counterpart (2nd), comment, amend,enhance and criticize the interaction (3rd) and at the same time take in account a larger view point.
It has become a habit of mine to always ask the question: “What for?” To think about it, this should be the recurrent question. Is it the essence of purpose to any action we undertake?
During my numerous seminars, I used to run, not only will I ask the participants to work out the purpose of their attendance, I would also suggest that they ask themselves sucessively the same question “what for”for a couple of rounds to the answers they may work out. I want them to reach the “meta” purpose of their purpose. If you prefer, the ultimate purpose.
I much prefer “what for” to “why”. “Why” could deviate the answer to philosophical thinking whilst “what for” would attempt to discover the ultimate purpose.
Entrepreneurs are too often head down in the action of performing whatever they are doing, without having a clear vision of the purpose of their actions. An external person, usually a consultant, would ask: “What is your mission?” or “do you have a mission statement?” A hazy, blurred answer would often be given. If somebody would ask you “what for, and why are you going to Port Louis”.What will your counterpart think if he got a hazy, blurred answer? Either you do not want to give a straight answer or you do not know what you are doing.I would ask you to try this question to your colleagues or friends: “What for, or why do you work?”
Should you have a well thought of and defined & specific purpose, I am of opinion that you stand a much better chance of achieving the purpose. “Elementaire”, dirait Watson.” Stephen Covey always likes to rightly say: “Common sense is not always common practice”.
I came across the book: Purpose: The starting point of great companies by Nikos Mourkogiannis, which I must admit I have not yet read. The extract of the book , of which you may have a copy is well to the point I am driving at. Purpose!
Anybody sensible would always have a purpose for any action. As common sense is not always common practice, you would be surprised how often we do things without a definite and specific purpose. Is it out of laziness or unconscious behaviour? Or we are more concerned with the “how” of the things we do instead of the “why” and “what for”. Purpose driven people are more thinkers than doers. To correct this state of things, and to increase our thinking skills, I propose that we train ourselves in perceptual positionning.
A model about how we learn.
Learning can be said to take place in four stages:
I Unconscious incompetence
Blissful ignorance
Confidence exceeds ability, we are not knowledgeable/skilful
We don’t know we don’t know.
II Conscious incompetence
We discover a skill we wish to learn - driving a car, riding a bike
Confidence drops as we realise our ability is limited
We need to practise to learn. Often this means not succeeding at first.
This is learning; unfortunately, in our culture it is often labelled ‘failure’. We feel uncomfortable.
We know what we don’t know.
III Conscious competence
We acquire the skill. We have become consciously competent. Our conscious mind can only cope with a small number of new bits of information at any one time.
Our confidence increases with our ability, we have to concentrate on what we know/do
Can do if know how to.
IV Unconscious competence
Lastly, we blend the skills together and they become habits - we can then do them while our mind is on other things.
We have reached the stage of unconscious competence.
Our confidence and ability have peaked, we no longer have to concentrate on what we know/do; this is the start of the next learning curve
We can do, but don’t necessarily know how we do.
In different areas of our life we will be at different stages on different learning curves
A number of us might be familiar with the four stages of learning which has been used for decades and has been highly promoted by a number of training or learning institutions of the like of World famous Thomas Gordon. I personally came across the stages of learning on my NLP courses.
Building a learning organisation as advocated by Peter Senge is one of the pillars any entrepreneur should strive for.
Many researchers now postulate, Thinking that stage four of the model mentioned, as being the ultimate,caps progress. It brings complacency.That is the reason, a fifth stage is now being introduced to perfect the much used conscious/competence Matrix. Some researchers in learning David Baume, amongst others, are suggesting a fifth stage called reflective comptence.
Reflective Competence would be the qualifier to outstanding performances delivered on demand in sports, by Tiger Woods or Micheal Jourdan. This would not be dissimilar to Capabilty Maturity Model as used in software development. The 5 levels defined as: initial, repeatable, defined, managed and optimised.
As most of you who live in Mauritius, you would have enjoyed a Holyday today: The Feast of the lord Ganesh, the god of wisdom. I flashed back to the days ,when I used to frequently visit Bombay and attended the feast at Elephanta caves,an island across The Gate of India in Colaba. The eve of the festival day now gave me the opportunity to sleep late so that I could enjoy the late morning wake up.The wake time was spent refreshing my old notes and browsing the web on the new developments thereon.
You will recall that at age 48, I decided to reequip myself with new competencies to further my active life. Indeed, one of the subjects I studied was NLP. You will find at least 2 links to NLP institutions which will explain to you what it is all about and how NLP could help you in your life. These life skills, to which I have been initiated to, worked wonders for me. I now realized how these skills transformed my outlook in life and how the acquired skills were of the greatest help to me during the rough time I traveled the recent years.
Would you like to be more in control of your behavior? Would you like to be more conscious of your moods and act more calmly in a way to achieve what you really want? Would you like to have better communications skills to understand others and be able to influence them? Would you like to be more creative and happier? What about learning to learn?
NLP incorporates a number of techniques and more importantly integrates the latest discoveries in the functioning of the Brain.
This morning when I lazily got out of my bed, I thought that I might have acquired more wisdom: Thanks to NLP